Men are being told how they ought to be by many of voices. The current story is that males are deficient, toxic and the source of society’s many problems. This faulty story of men’s defectiveness and shame has eroded men’s identity. There are also many is demands place on men, There are expected to be succesful, to communicate better, to be a good father, to provide, to be manly, to be sensitive, to be a good lover, to look good, to excel at everything.
Why a specialised counselling for Men ?
This perspective of deficiency and the demands and expectations placed on them have create confusion and self-doubt in many men. It is often difficult for individuals to sort al this out by themselves. Research shows that Australian men are generally falling behind in many important areas such as education, physical and mental health. Beyond Blue, reports that men account for 75 percent of death by suicide in Australia.
Our practitioners have worked with hundreds of men and their issues. We are aware that men like to solve their issues differently. At MenSpace, we focus on how to best help men tackle their problems head-on and get them sorted in as short amount of time as possible. Less talk and more skill building and action. Our counselling approach is solution-focused, goal-oriented and strategic.
While our counselling approach is action focused, emotions are not ignored. To take effective action a person needs to be well balanced emotionally. For this reason it would be foolish to disregard such a powerful and fundamental part of the human being. Ignoring and avoiding feelings leads to lack of emotional intelligence. However we work with emotions in a masculine practical way. The aim of working with emotions is to understand them, manage them and ultimately used them as the tool that they are to help achieve the life we want. Towards this aim, our counsellors assist in the building of emotional intelligence, the ability to recognise our emotional experience, regulate the feelings that distress us, understand and empathise with the feelings of others and increase our ability to experience positive feelings.
We encourage you to consider counselling in a different light, as place you can off-load and focus on your concerns without interruption and in a way that is practical and helpful to you. Times are changing, and we can all benefit from learning effective thinking skills, emotional intelligence, communication skills and stress management. Counselling will also help men sort out communication difficulties with their partners, in-laws, children, work colleagues, and friends.
These are some reasons often cited for men’s reluctance to seek counselling:
- Many men have been brought up to believe that being a real man is about being independent and sorting out their issues, on their own.
- Asking for help is seen as a sign of failure and weakness.
- Some men see counselling and therapy as being more for women and not for them. They may feel uncomfortable at the prospect of opening up and talking about their thoughts and feelings.
- Other men might worry about what their friends or relatives would think and say if they knew they were seeing a counsellor.
- Or alternatively, they may have fears about confidentiality.
- Often men will only ask for help with mental health issues after they have reached a crisis.
- Men may regard counselling and therapy as self-indulgent navel gazing.
- Lastly, some men believe that counselling is only for serious mental health issues and do not believe that their issues are bad enough to seek counselling.
Despite these concerns research is now showing that more men are coming for counselling compared to five years ago. This seems to be linked to increasing awareness of men’s health issues overall and perhaps a better awareness of the need for mental flexibility and mental fitness.